Sometimes your story is so long and painful,

That you would rather tuck it under the mattress,

and never let the light shine on it again.

Sometimes when you think that painful journey is over,

you realize it is never really the end..

Sometimes your life feels like an accumulation of sensations you wish you never felt,

cards dealt to you that you wish you never held,

and tears you’ve swallowed because

you would rather smile at Hell..

Sometimes there’s no one,

no one you can turn to that will give you an answer,

no words that can be said that will make you feel like everything makes sense,

even if it comes from the most sincere family member or friend.

You realize that this journey has no beginning, middle, or end,

it is simply on going and you must just pretend that everything is okay so you can get through another day.

You must cry in the lonliest of times,

for hours at a chance,

just to look yourself in the mirror,

and realize you have come so far.

Sometimes the distance you have traveled feels in vein because even if you have given it your all,

and changed your surroundings,

inside you still feel the same.

Count your blessings they say,

and there are times you cry as you count your blessings,

because you know that they are there to balance out the lows.

Sometimes there is no place that ever felt like home,

besides moments when you were filled with hope that tomorrow would be better,

But I must admit that sometimes I choke at the idea that,

I have cried more tears over pain than luck,

But I must keep going because I didn’t come this far for nothing.

I didn’t rise up to several occasions,

to make my demons feel frustration,

that they couldn’t stop me for nothing,

I didn’t wake up every demon that was sent for me,

just to let them watch me crumble.

I remind myself that I am a beast ,

and yes I did come here to rumble,

I came here to make every enemy fumble,

I came here to soften hard hearts,

I came here to bring smarts to the ignorant,

I came here to wake up what’s sleeping inside every soul I encounter that is depressed,

I came here to remind everyone that they are blessed,

because we have another day,

and even the worst days are better than none.

I know I’m not the only one who has moments that they feel they are done with trying,

I know I’m not the only one who is told how strong they are,

in admiration at how much I have endured,

but deep inside it feels like my soul is dying.

I know I’m not the only one who smiles to overcome the pain,

who laughs Everytime I feel ashamed,

who loves harder just to forget the abuse,

who wishes I could undo every injustice I have had to go through.

I know it is honorable to carry pain like a trophy,

and smile and say it made me this great person,

But nobody knows what I had to survive to laugh this hysterically,

what I had to feel to love so tenderly,

and how much patience it has taken me to keep waiting for a day where somewhere feels like home other than within myself.

My childhood was hell,

and my adulthood hasn’t been much different,

and they say it must be you if your the same factor in every equation, but I doubt it.

I think when we are born with a big heart,

and a larger mind than age can display,

we are tested,

we are fighting bigger demons because they don’t want us to spread that light that we carry,

but we must,

We must fight with every breath,

and love with every intent to heal others while we heal ourselves,

we must never give up and never let go of the hope for tomorrow,

Because it would be a shame to go down like a victim when you are born with the heart of rebellion against evil,

Everytime I find myself realizing that this is no one else’s journey but mine,

I remind myself that there are others who wish their problems were as small as mine,

their are others who have to climb mountains that make mine look like boulders,

and I realize that I can very well be a shoulder like the one that I seek,

And I must crack out of this spell of tears and smile like it’s been years since I have seen the sun, because we are all one and we feel the same feelings at different times,

and how selfish would it be to think that I deserve only happiness when sadness has cradled me into a stronger being,

poverty has made my soul rich,

Tragedy has made my heart give,

triumph has made my mind uplift,

and even when I cry for 4 hours at a time that is a gift,

And I wanted to share the not so pleasant parts of being human with you,

Because even when you think you are doomed,

you are simply experiencing all that was meant for you to rise up higher than ever before,

The job of evolving is never done until we no longer see the sun,

and even then we are remembered in bright memories,

We are bigger than any catastrophe,

our energy has the power to heal and recreate, our energy has the power to manifest and translate,

and our energy is what keeps the lights on inside of us when everything seems very dark,

And I hope that when you leave here you can feel your whole heart,

and remember that you are worth every shot you take,

even when you miss,

you are learning in the process,

and life without learning is no longer life,

So count every blessing even when you are stressing,

because your energy is what will turn the lights on every single time you are done…